REVEREND PETE'S SERMON -- "JESUS WOULD RIDE A HARLEY"

First and foremost, a Happy Easter wish to all peoples of the world. May the new season bring peace and freedom to everyone.

I awoke this morning to a beautiful Spring day. Birds were singing, and the moles that had mysteriously moved into my yard over the winter seemed to be burrowing with a special frenzy.

Being brought up in the Catholic Religion, I of course associate Easter with Jesus.

So it is no surprise that I awoke this morning smiling to think not only of the triumph of a risen Lord but of the interesting ways that Jesus has been used in modern times to sell things.

(Warping as the memory machine takes us back to June 2004)

I was browsing the motorcycle paraphenalia stands at last year's Laconia Bike Week, when suddenly I realized that I was in the Hell's Angels leather tent. It didn't take long for me to comprehend that I had somehow passed through "Suzie's Bandana Shop" into an abutting tent where black leather thongs hung next to purple leather whips.

"What ya lookin for," asked a hulking voice behind me? I turned and viewed the speaker. He was big, about 6'5", and spilling out in all directions from his tee shirt, leather vest, and dirty jeans.

Time to act cool and nonchalant. So, with the feigned indifference of a Cool Hand Luke, I muttered: "I was just looking at the bandanas as a possible gift for my wife." (Oh man, I thought, that didn't come out cool at all.)

The big guy looked at me as if I was a toad. "Get The Bitch a thong man. Bitches in thongs look great on the back of your ride."

Now I was in way over my head. For one thing, I had never thought of my wife as "The Bitch." For another, the last time I got so-called sexy lingerie for my wife, I got a lecture about how uncomfortable it was.

"No man," I replied, "I've changed my mind. Not gettin her anything. What ya got for us bikers?" Alright, I thought, now I sound better to this kind of guy. All the while I'm casually looking for an exit. I spied one to my right. Next to the exit was a table with another Hell's Angels guy sitting behind it on a stool. Looking at the first Angel I quipped, "I'll go check out that table." I moved quickly toward the exit. But I didn't make the exit before the stool guy grabbed my arm.

"If Jesus were alive today, he'd ride a Harley."

That's what the man said, as he pointed to a leather and chain device used for attaching keys to your jeans. I looked. It did say just that. Embossed into the leather were the words "IF JESUS WERE ALIVE TODAY, HE'D RIDE A HARLEY."

I was hooked. Looking over the stool man, I noticed much the opposite of the first Angel. This one was thin to an extreme. His hair and beard were straggly, long with that pepper and salt mix that we all seem to inherit as we push past 40. His teeth were few, and those that remained were in rather sad shape.

But he had a big smile, a genuine smile--the kind of smile that put me at ease and made me less anxious to get away from the tent. He wore a cross around his neck, and his vest was marked with his name: "Reverend Pete."

I inquired, "Reverend, how do you know Jesus would ride a Harley as opposed to a Honda?" Pete grinned. "I don't. But I know he'd be a biker man, cause he rode a donkey. He'd ride a bike today, no question." Pete's quick response was made with the conviction of true religion.

That was the end of Pete's sermon. He had no more time for me. A good looking lady had walked to his table, and was asking him where the thongs were. I saw the light of the doorway and left.

And it was this memory of Reverend Pete's sermon that put a smile on my face this Easter Morning.